As a society, I mean.
When I was in grade school (Good ol' St. Francis Xavier) we were expected to conduct ourselves a certain way. Period. Didn't matter if you were in 1st grade or 8th. You behaved at school or else.
If you got in trouble--and this was in the days where your teacher could physically discipline you, and trust me, the nuns (old school nuns imported from Canada even!) did. But if you got in trouble, you got in trouble twice, once at school (complete with discipline) & again at home when your parents found out what went down at school.
Were we abused? Far from it! By the time we were in high school, it was obvious who had gone to public grade school & who had gone to St. Francis. I'm not saying public school kids are thugs, but in this instance there was a distinct difference in behavior. A lot of the ps kids were well behaved but all of the trouble makers in school? PS kids.
A woman who used to live here (we were in MOMS together) is now subbing in her hometown & reading her blog is frightening. The behavior of these kids is horrific. As a Catholic school kid herself, she sees the change in society I just mentioned.
Parents don't seem to want to take responsibility for their child's bad behavior. It even carries over to toddlers. Your 2 yr old wants to take her clothes off all the time? Oh, Sensory Disorder! Your 4 yr old is acting out in Prek? ADHD!
I may or may not have made excuses for the Wee One's bad behavior when Hunter was gone ("her father is deployed"). Nah, I'll own it--- I did. Looking back, I can trace her behavior to occasions in her life where things were upsetting (Hunter being gone). A lot of military wives can't handle it when their husbands are gone, yet I expect a 3 yr old to carry on as if nothing had changed?
I would find a little extra attention & saying "it's okay to miss Daddy, I miss him too" would help. We survived & moved on. And without medication!
Why is it that we are so quick to label our children? Is it out of fear? Are we worried that those around us will judge our parenting abilities? Will we be sent to Remedial Parenting 101? Some of us could use that class!
I'm not a perfect parent & I don't have a perfect child. Far from it. But I TRY to be a good mother. I believe that children will rise to your expectations, regardless of what they are. If you expect your child to behave a certain way, be it good or bad, they will. If you call your child a demon, guess what you have on your hands!
Praising your child, catching them doing something right goes so far in their eyes. They believe they have self worth & their self esteem rises. If your only interaction with your child is to always tell them "no, NO, don't that/brat/ etc" guess what they're going to think. Very quickly they will learn that any attention, even negative attention is good.
Please know that I don't think all kids whose parents seek diagnosis are just posterkids for bad behavior. I just really think (and this is MY opinion & if I can't express it on MY blog then where can I?!) that as a society we're looking for answers that don't go beyond our front door.
*stepping off soapbox*
On a semi-knitting note, I'm mailing out my Favorite Things box today! What a fun swap!
MIL & FIL arrive on Sunday!